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[Sat/Jun/2009 at 6:48pm] |
About 3 days after starting as kitchen staff
i got fed up by the 13 hour shifts on my feet
and the stress and bitchiness and quit...
but instead of quitting camp altogether
i got a different job there as a unit counselor.
it has been a rewarding but exhausting experience.
i am pretty much always shifting every week
to different age groups and places of living
within the camp and have gotten to know a lot
of the staff and so many amazing/bratty kids.
it is weird to hear a kid tell you that you're
their favorite and that they don't want to leave
and of course really weird when they want you
to sign their pillow cases or what have you
and get in pictures with them. I am cool? haha.
it honestly tugs at my heart how much i can
care for each one of them... i have cried!
esp. the one time a little girl almost fell
off a horse on my watch. There's fun to it too,
though. I am excited for the next few weeks
of kids and to see what activities and groups
I'll get to work with. But i also miss life.
I never get to talk to my girlfriend or
see my friends. I am also REALLY broke...
So - I'm moving to Texas at the end of July
or the beginning of August. Don't know how
long I'll be there or where I'll go from there...
it's just another time for change. Again.
Wish me luck.
PS: I still don't have a phone.
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[Wed/May/2009 at 3:43pm] |
sooo... my phone is still not working
and i have no intentions of fixing it.
it's nice to be unreachable,
although not really, anyone can message me.
so jesse & i broke up but now we're back.
i'll spare the details of why or when...
i'm just happy that she's with me again
and that we're sort of better now.
i start as kitchen staff at camp sycamore
on monday for training, i'll be living there
and even though i dont have a phone
it's not like they allow phones anyway.
so if you want to talk to me, i can write,
so give me your address and i'll send you
a letter with my address once i find out.
i'm looking forward to a break from my life.
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| djp |
[Mon/May/2009 at 6:43pm] |
 
I'm genuinely happy that he's happy,
but i miss him like hell and it makes me want to cry...
i think i'm skipping over my next tattoo
and getting one in homage of him, for myself.
I can't let myself forget the bonds i make
with good people, and ours was the best.
besides that, my phone went for a toilet swim,
i am unreachable for now except through internets.
it's a good break but at the same time,
this couldn't have come at a worse time...
i am done working for the jade dragon
and will probably miss every call from the
applications i put out. meilanisucks.com.
the only thing i miss about the jade is
their hot & sour soup with wontons in it...
i am probably getting that summer camp job,
so i wont even have free time this summer,
especially for my girlfriend, cause she has
to work and classes. wtf charlie. kill me.
I CANT WAIT TO MOVE!
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| [i made this with my hands and now i'm staring at it] |
[Sat/May/2009 at 1:51pm] |
this life breaks me, it takes me with its flow...
i wonder how long it's going to be ok for us to
see that we're the few lucky ones.
to stand by watching the rest of the world starve
and burn women alive.
how long we'll have the choice to donate to the aspca
or aids research or just go to the mall to shop.
how long we'll be able to choose our religion
and choose who we're going to hate and celebrate...
before some other religion comes to take us over.
before all of our taxes start to go to the starved.
before it is a law to recycle and not a fucking choice.
i have no idea why i was put here,
but i'm not going to pretend to know.
this life breaks me, it takes me with its flow.
it's painful to breathe when you start to think
about what you're breathing in....
it's painful to love when you start to think
about how long it will last...
it's painful to bear children when you start to think
of what they will endure in their life...
this world. this chaos. this complicated thing.
everything and everyone dies.
i kick back with my friends and think of these things...
i am selfish because i try to laugh. it's not funny,
but all you can do is laugh. what exactly is laughter?
is it a different version of pain? of giving up?
is it exhaustion or the easy way out? laughter is good,
yes... laughter is good. but how good is it
when the rest of the world is falling apart?
i kick back with my friends and think of these things...
while my lover leaves and my grandparents die...
while my friends have children or catch diseases...
while the homeless tap on my window...
i kick back with my friends and think of these things...
because there is no help for everyone,
there is no real solution to all problems,
because it's cruel that only some of us are able to laugh...
this life breaks me, it takes me with its flow.
i am cynical, i am brave, i am honest, i am funny, i am smart,
i am young, i am hyperactive, i am a humanitarian,
i am a lover, i am also selfsih, i am also materialistic,
i am also shallow, i am also in debt and if you think about it
i'm not special. i am not even close to special. i am me.
i see the beauty in it, and my friends see the beauty in me.
i see the beauty in them. i see the beauty in this.
but what do you do with beauty? it cannot be kept in a jar,
so i take pictures, and sing songs and kick back with my friends.
we all think of these things. it's okay to laugh.
but don't for one minute take it for granted
because you've got it all. everything is going to fall apart.
this life breaks me, it takes me with its flow...
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| i need this |
[Mon/May/2009 at 9:31pm] |
also - read my previous entry about the scavenger hunt,
i need input bitches ;]
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